PRO FEMME DOMME 4
From Harry:
Dear Elise, Thank you for hosting such a positive and encouraging web site for submissive men and dominant women. I am a 46 year old university professor, a father, and a husband to a wonderful wife who I adore. I have always sensed the superiority of women, mostly due to their highly developed social skills and nurturing instincts. We men seem almost chemically driven in our behavior, by comparison. At the engineering department where I teach the behavior of the male faculty is downright childish and embarrassing. Frankly, the whole department needs to be punished by a dominatrix. It is not hard to view us males as loveable though somewhat developmentally inferior creatures.
Since childhood I have seen the superiority of women and held submissive feelings and fantasies towards them. As an adult, I fully accept these feelings. However, as a teenager, I had no idea how to bring these submissive fantasies to life. These ideas can make a boy shy, and though I was good looking and never without girlfriends, this topic was just too scary to discuss directly. One naturally dominant girlfriend, Rebecca, who was a drama major at our college in Boston "got it" and fell right into the queen role. For a solid year until she graduated, we played queen-slave games, mixed with plenty of sex in our single dormitory rooms. Those times were magical. I was amazed to read Jeremy's story (Extreme Desires section), as it in some ways paralleled my own experience.
Before college, as a high school student in the seventies, I also read Club magazine mostly at night under the sheets. Behind the usual pictures and stories, in the back pages of the magazine were articles on female domination that Jeremy remembered as the Kalman Diaries. These were typically lengthy and wildly extreme stories about sadistic superior women (often lesbians) who enjoyed enslaving, torturing, and emasculating their willing captives. The stories would vary. One month it might be about a Paris slave competition, in which French Mistresses spent months training their male slaves for the big contest. The contest night was held is a large auditorium filled with women. I recall one event on competition night had the line of naked slaves harnessed with ball weights, their mistresses adding lead until all but one of the men collapsed to the floor. I dreamt of being one of these slaves.
Another article described Mistresses who marked their slaves with partial (one testicle) castration; still another article wrote of a Mistress mummifying her slave in gauze and a paste made from her waste. In real life these were crazy, often less-than-safe, sane, and consensual stories, but they were great fodder for fantasies. They were the first stories I read that presented female superiority as a way of life and an end-to-itself. As with Jeremy, one bizarre story deeply penetrated my fantasies. In that lengthy story, a permanent slave recounted his experience at the hands of his wealthy Los Angeles Mistress, a beautiful Mexican woman. The man gave up all of his possessions in return for spending the rest of his life serving her, including his chore of Immaculate Body Service, or IBS. In short, his mouth was ceremoniously used for her toilet. Jeremy remembers this service as Immense Body Service. As bizarre and disgusting as this story sounds, the article was surprisingly well written. The slave described in mystical terms his experiences beneath his seated mistress and made parallels to a Catholic Eucharist ceremony and meditation practices of eastern religions. The story was so thoughtfully written, meditative, and devoid of vulgarity, that it seemed to be a true story. Perhaps it was? To this day I still fantasize of being that slave, but unlike Jeremy, I did not plunge into obsession.
I have had wonderful experiences with several dominant women and have been able to stay healthy by separating fantasy and reality. The closest I approach this fantasy is deep and prolonged ass worship. Happily, I have found myself many times at the tail end of a woman who has lost her inhibitions about playing "down there". Most women I have served love anal play! Serving at a woman's anus is a focal point for my male submission given the natural tensions of humiliation, worship, and reward that fall out of this play.
Some of my fantasies have been played out with my current Mistress, who has over a number of years transitioned from professional Dom. to close friend. Monica is a bright feminist, full of life, who truly enjoys dominating men, and I am lucky to serve her. In our early sessions, I endured (that is enjoyed) whippings, bondage, testicle weights, and so on. She has lots of professional experience and is very skilled at the physical aspects of domination. Nowadays, we spend less time in bondage play, and instead explore the psychological side of submission and servitude. In many wonderful sessions I have surrendered my will to this superior woman. One activity we both relish is her using me for her toilet. Monica knows my fantasies, and though feces never enter our play for obvious health reasons, she routinely uses me as her toilet, urinating into my mouth. I always beg for this humiliating service and, when fortunate, I receive it. I have drank gallons of her piss. Elise, it may sound strange but I can tell you that the most deeply submissive states of my life occur in the moments that follow her order that I beg to be her toilet.
For a few moments we are connected together by her powerful stream of warm urine. It is an amazing moment. At other times, to prolong my submissive state as a toilet, she has me do chores with her piss-soaked underwear stuffed in my mouth. For a man like me who sees his sex as basically inferior to a woman's, this kind of activity is not perverse, but a natural extension of what is his proper place and role. It is no wonder this fantasy is so common among submissive men.
Another activity that produces a deeply submissive state is objectification. For example, I might be reduced to a silent coffee table holding her tea cup, television remote control, and a flower. Or be her laptop table or her candlestick holder. There is no bondage or force in this game, only willing submission to be anything she demands. As furniture, being an object, and ignored as a person, produces a deeply humbling and tranquil state. Humiliation by reduction and objectification is similar though not nearly as intense as the cuckolding you encourage women to use on their husbands. I have never experienced cuckolding personally, though it sounds absolutely fascinating. I can only imagine the deep humiliation and submission it must produce in these lucky husbands, let alone a feeling of absolute control by their wives. Cuckolding is at the heart of female superiority and thanks to you now part of my fantasy regiment. I understand that you do not endorse cuckolding and suggest it only for the strongest of marriages: I agree. For men who are at peace with female superiority proper cuckolding must be a terrifyingly personal and wonderful admission of obedience to a woman's rule. Done incorrectly or maliciously it can only be highly destructive.
This psychological side of female supremacy and male submission is far more interesting to me than mere physical domination. Psychological submission is cutting into a man's ego and done correctly it will release him from the daily burden of being a man. Women who embrace their supremacy are in control to do good or bad, and maturity in their dominion is critical. Having moved beyond a desire for physical domination, I want to spend the remainder of my exploration of female superiority probing psychological submission. At best, that means bringing the ideals of male submission into the relationship with my life partner, my wife. My submission in this relationship is, above all else, about treating my wife with the utmost respect and always, always, thinking about her interests first. That is the 24/7 foundation upon which all the fireworks happen.
Now for some disappointing realities, I am married to a wonderful woman and she is not Monica. I recently married my wife because, simply, she is an extremely thoughtful, wonderful and kind person. I assume that any young, smart and healthy woman can embrace dominance and enjoy its fruits. Of course, my dream is to serve this wonderful woman. To open my wife to this idea, I wrote her some non-shocking love letters and printed introductory web essays for "reluctant women", such as Mistress Akasha, Lady Misato, and yours. Following the recommendations of these sites, she receives massages, has chores are done, meals cooked, flowers delivered, and so on. She loves this and certainly wants it to continue. In bed, she gets what she wants and, luckily for both of us, she loves ass worship more than just about anything else.
My wife is a very quiet and peaceful woman, and part of her reluctance to embrace female dominance may be her aversion to the sexually violent and aggressive imagery that sometimes comes with Female Dominant literature and web sites. For example, a flogger is often part of the loving games of D/s, but for the uninitiated it is a terrifying and totally negative instrument. I think it is also hard for her to understand how putting a man in a submissive role could induce joy in him, and rewards for her. The idea of bruising a husbands ego as well as his skin, cuts across a lifetime of training about "proper womanly behavior" Female supremacy is in large part a sexual exploration, and many women are reluctant to take control of their sexual lives. Frankly, it scares them. That pretty much describes our condition I am fairly far along the track of accepting female superiority, but my wife has not left the starting blocks.
Elise, this I think is your greatest challenge. Submissive men are everywhere and clamoring for this new reality. We have "bought in". Most women, on the other hand, are not as tuned into this lifestyle and when exposed many have a visceral response that is strongly negative. Women need a sensitive non-aggressive, non-violent hand to guide them toward this lifestyle, and in my case, the husband's hand was not good enough.
You do seem to have the right touch, and I hope you expand your essays and advice in the area of introducing women to their supremacy in a non-threatening way. Elise, what do you council to men who try but fail to introduce these ideas to their wives? I do not want to push her to do something she does not want to do, and I also do not want to wave the white flag. Can you recommend some suggestions, broad-brushed or detailed, that would be useful for encouraging reluctant wives to female dominance? Every person is different and what works for some may not work for others. There are no silver bullets. I am hoping that you have some guidance for men, or words of encouragement for women to move them both along the path of female dominance.
From Fawn:
Elise, I am a low profile professional Dominatrix. I am also an artist and I have a career separate from Domination. I travel between Boston and Miami and I only advertise in those local areas for clients. I have a playspace in both locations and I have built up a small but loyal clientele.
My husband was the one who introduced me to the female domination lifestyle. To meet me, you would not peg me as a Dominatrix. I am young, attractive and look like the girl next door. I have a sweet and reserved personality. My husband is a successful businessman ten years older than I. I must admit that I married him primarily for his money but I also fell in love with him. When he introduced me to this lifestyle, I was reluctant but I knew he wanted me to try it. We started out with me just dominating him in our bedroom but once I became skilled and comfortable, we joined a D&S organization and began to play with other people.
I soon came to relish in my dominant role and a friend of mine suggested that I try my hand at being a professional Dominatrix. She said I had the looks and the skill to be successful. My husband was not crazy about me dominating other men without him being around but I surprised myself by becoming firm with my older husband. It was like I tapped into my true dominant nature and I didn't ask my husband if I could do it, I told him I was going to do it. He was stunned that I became so forceful with him but his submissive nature quickly yielded to my newly discovered power.
With my husband's help and finances, I created a studio in Boston and placed an advertisement in the alternative city paper. Between the ad and networking myself at our D&S group, I soon had a small but loyal clientele. My other career mandated that I travel to south Florida on occasion so I decided to create a domination playspace there as well. Before long, I had a few loyal clients in south Florida.
I took all the necessary safety precautions and was mentored by a woman in my D&S group who use to be a professional Dominatrix. She guided me in what to do and how to do it when it came to protecting myself personally and legally.
I am telling you all of this to say how much I love being a dominant woman. By becoming a Dominatrix, I have been liberated from under my controlling husband. He originally wanted me to be his Dominatrix to fulfill his sexual fantasies. He never dreamed that I would take to it like I have and he never thought I would desire to play with other men the way I have. Like I said, I love my husband dearly but he is ten years older and I enjoy playing with men my own age or even younger.
In Florida, I met a dreamboat of a man who is two years younger than I. He became one of my clients, we hit it off and I agreed to start dating him. I told my husband that I wanted to make this young man into my boyfriend and my husband was not happy about it. I knew that one of the women in our D&S group practices cuckolding with her husband so I went to her to get advice. She told me of how she includes her husband in on the cuckolding and how she makes it exciting for him.
I had a lengthy D&S session with my husband and during this session, I informed my husband that since I was now a dominant and liberated woman, that I expected him to submit to my desire of dating the young man in Florida. I explained to my husband that we could do this the hard way or we could do it the easy way. The hard way would be me doing it behind his back while I was down in Florida and thus risk our marriage. Or I would do it with his full knowledge and total blessing and I would use it as a way to further dominate him.
My husband would not give me his blessing during this session so I ended up blooding his ass with my cane. He loves it when I get extreme with him because he is a real pain slut. But he came to me the next day and told me that he had been thinking about what I had said and he told me that he wanted me to be happy. My husband agreed to be a cuckolded husband.
I now have the best of two worlds. I am a happily married woman to my husband in Boston and I have a lover in Florida that I date when I go down there about once a month. I tell my husband about all of my sexual escapades with my lover and one time I even allowed my husband to listen in on us having sex over the phone. I also dominate my boyfriend and I do not deny my husband access to my body. He is still allowed to have sex with me. I cannot get enough domination or sex.
Recently, our D&S group had a fetish party and I invited my boyfriend up to Boston to attend. That was the first time my husband met him and surprisingly they got along splendidly. All three of us attended the fetish party together and I played with both of them. After the party, we stopped at a restaurant that stays open all night to get a bite to eat. The waitress was a cute woman who had a wonderful smile and sense of humor. I was sitting in the booth next to my boyfriend, holding his hand as I made my husband sit on the other side of the booth and watch us. The waitress asked me if the man I was snuggling with was my husband. I shocked her by telling her that he was my boyfriend but the man sitting on the other side of the booth was my husband. My husband's face turned all red from his embarrassment. The waitress got the biggest kick out of our arrangement and she even complimented me on my guts. She said that she wished she had such an open-minded husband.
She was correct in that the key to this arrangement is my husband. Once he got over his initial objections and hang-ups, he has been wonderful. I have come to respect him and love him more now that he has consented to my having this much freedom in our marriage. A successful cuckold is a tribute to the cuckolded husband. No matter how liberated or dominant the wife may be, the husband is the key to the wife enjoying her liberation.
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