FEMDOM MARRIAGE 3
From Richard D:
Dear Elise Sutton, I have been married for over 9 years but I've been together with my wife for 13. She's about 15 years older than I am. I am 28 she is turning 43 in a month.
Yes, I know she married me very young, I met her when I was in high school, as she was my teacher. She's really taken to the Female Supremacist lifestyle. She's officially called herself one for about 5 years. But I have always been in one way or another submissive to her, she's always been very dominant in our relationship. Our "new" life for awhile was very exciting, it seems that with each passing day she becomes more and more dominant then before and is very comfortable in her new "role". I am now doing all the housework when it used to be 50/50. I'm also wearing a chastity belt and I have been for almost 3 years.
Over the years she's introduced different ways to discipline me other than the verbal, it's also been spanking, whipping, caning and slapping my face while sitting on top of me. There are so many ways now that I tremble when I know I have made her angry because I know the amount of pain she can inflict on me so I do all that I can not to make her angry. When she's really mad, after the discipline I have to stand in the corner of our living room with my face to the wall. This used to happen often when she got really jealous, I am no longer allowed any female friends and I know not to look at a girl too long while she is around. But at anytime she can inflict a lot of pain on me, usually at her whim and for her amusement. I really don't like it when I have to submit to her strap-on because sometimes she prefers not to use lubricant or puts on as little as possible, it really hurts and I wind up screaming which she enjoys. I am really afraid of getting an infection there because of the amount of bleeding I get sometimes.
Our sex life (I use the term "our" loosely) is quite different from before, its just as frequent if not a lot more. She has always been sexually dominant in our relationship, she wastes no time in telling me how and how often I should be giving her what kind of sex she wants. It feels like it is "only" about her but I guess I know that's just the way it should be. Besides submitting to her strap-on, I have to give her oral sex where and when she wants it but she's always had a strong desire for penetrative sex. To get this she puts a strap-on on me and achieves it that way. I really love having intercourse and it used to be that on my release days, she would have intercourse with me but now she doesn't give me that option anymore. I am only allowed either to masturbate in front of her or she gives me a hand job. She has also removed the option of her giving me oral sex. She's even told me that she likes the dildo better because there is no mess afterwards.
I am pretty sad when she tells me that. But as I have read here and from what she has taught me sex is only for her enjoyment and not mine. There is still a part of me that is having a hard time accepting it but I guess I'll just have to. I don't know, I just feel so confused sometimes.
I know that Female Supremacy is about the woman being first and the man's needs are unimportant, what ever she says goes and I'm supposed to completely surrender my will to her. I know that. I thought I could live with it but it just doesn't feel right to me sometimes and maybe it hasn't in a long time. I know that it's not supposed to bother me that my feelings in this relationship aren't as important as hers because she is the wife and I'm only the male but it can really bother me sometimes. But I know, I dare not show her that it bothers me sometimes. I know what kind of discipline I would deserve if I did. But I used to have "some" say at least.
The only place I feel relaxed anymore is when I spend weekends at my parents place, it's also the only place I am allowed to go for an extended period of time without her and even then I have to "check in" frequently. I guess it's just natural for me to feel this way. I'm afraid to talk to her about it because I know it will make her angry. I know I can't leave her, I feel like I really can't be without her for to long. If only she would be a little nicer to me sometimes, I feel like I am always afraid of her. She does tell me that she loves me and she does like kissing me still so I guess that should be enough. It's like I never do anything right and maybe I guess I don't. But not all the time.
Is there anything else I can read, your site has helped in terms of me accepting my position in life as the male in the marriage. And even though we've been doing this for quite sometime now I guess I still have a ways to go to absolutely accepting it. I'd really like to hear any thoughts you might have.
From Colby:
I wanted to share with you our current arrangement. First, I need to give you some background about my wife and I. We are both college graduates from Columbia U. We met in college, we've been together for fifteen years, married for twelve, and we are both career people. I work on Wall Street and my wife in Advertising. We live in a high-rise apartment in the city. My wife loves the excitement of New York.
She has outgrown me in many areas, especially in recent years. She was an attractive girl in college but she has blossomed into a gorgeous and successful businesswoman. To contrast that, I have lost most of my hair, gained too much weight, and have hit upon some down times in my career. I was very successful in the mid 90's when my commissions were going through the roof. Unfortunately the downward spiral in the market has hurt my earnings in the past couple of years. None of this has been good for my self-image or my marriage.
My wife has been supportive of me and her encouragement is what has gotten me out of bed most days. She motivates me to forge ahead and without her driving force, my financial situation would have been much worse. Socially, we were growing in different directions and this was taking a toll on our relationship. About a year ago, we took a vacation together and used the quiet time to talk about our marriage and our goals. She confessed to me that she had been thinking that perhaps we were growing apart and perhaps we should consider separating. I told her that I needed her now more than ever and that I would do whatever she wanted me to do in order to save our marriage. As we opened up to each other, we each confessed acts of unfaithfulness. She told me that she had a recent extra-marital affair with a gentleman that lasted for six months. I confessed to her that over the last ten years of our marriage, I had been seeing and paying a Professional Mistress for domination.
The tension between us grew so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. I thought that this was going to be it. I figured my wife was going to end this marriage right here and right now. To her credit, she kept her composure and she asked me to give her some time to think all this through. My wife is a brilliant woman who is accustomed to solving complex problems. The next day, she approached me and wanted to hear details about my Mistress, what kind of things she did to dominate me and why did I feel I needed this in my life. She surprised me with her familiarity about D&S. Working in advertising, she knew about fetish and such alternative lifestyles.
About a month later, she initiated another heart to heart discussion. She had done some research and she decided on a solution to our marital problems, if I would agree. Since she had become a rather dominant woman who was career driven and since I had this desire to be dominated by a Mistress, my wife proposed that she would become my Mistress and I would become her submissive. We would stay married and continue our friendship but I would become more her personal servant and be her husband in title only. I would continue with my career but she would take charge of all our assets. As her servant, we would no longer require a professional house cleaning service, as I would do the household chores. I would be required to come home from the office each evening and prepare dinner for her. After dinner, I would provide her with neck rubs, foot rubs, full body massages, baths, possibly sex, or whatever she desired that particular evening. On the weekends, I would do chores. I would have to check in with her and gain her permission to go anywhere or do anything but she could come and go as she pleases. She would inform me where she was but I would have no right to question her. In return for this servitude, she would give me the discipline and domination that I had previously sought out professionally. We would have a monthly appointment where we would engage in advanced D&S play, complete with a fetish outfit and toys of discipline and domination.
I was excited by her proposal and I accepted. My biggest concern was her condition that she could come and go as she pleased and I would have no say. However, after living under this arrangement now for ten months, I have come to love all the conditions of our new arrangement. My biggest and most pleasant surprise is our monthly (or sometimes bi-weekly) D&S sessions. I had seen about a half dozen Pro Dommes in my life but my wife is by far the sexiest, bitchiest and most aggressive Mistress I have ever experienced. She is absolutely incredible. She bought herself an entire wardrobe of leather and fetish clothing and she looks stunning dressed as a Dominatrix. She really gets into it and loves to put me in restrictive bondage so I can't move a muscle and then she teases me until I can hardly stand it. Once she has me to the edge, she disciplines me with her riding crop or one of her favorite paddles. She gets into it and she lets the verbal abuse and profanity fly as she puts me in my place. It is extremely exciting to watch her intensity during these sessions. I just wish we could do them on a weekly basis but thus far she only desires to engage in this with me about once every two weeks to about once a month.
About six months ago she found your site and she did your psychoanalysis on me. She learned a lot about my submissive desires and she has put her knowledge to good use. I have become a decent cook and a good little housemaid. She even bought me a maid's outfit that I have to wear for her on the weekends when I do my chores. My wife stays out all night on occasion and she has gone away with a male friend of hers twice for weekend long mini vacations. She also goes out of town sometimes for her job. I know she has sex outside of our marriage and she asked me if I wanted to know the details during our D&S sessions for humiliation play. So far, I have asked her not to share any details with me. I know that she is free to do what she pleases since I am no longer a traditional husband to her, but I would rather not hear about it. She has respected my wishes and keeps that part of her life to herself.
We are still intimate, although not very often. She will allow me to orally service her at times after a massage or a bath. We have intercourse about once a month (with her always on top) and thus far she has placed no restrictions on me as far as male chastity or masturbation. She does not ask me about it and she doesn't seem to care what I do when she is not there as long as I keep up with my tasks and assigned chores.
It has been ten months since we started this arrangement and it has worked out great. I love her as much today as I have during any time of our marriage. I know that she does not view me as her husband but rather as her submissive. I am not always crazy about that but I know that this arrangement was the only way we could have continued staying together. This way she is still in my life, I get from her what I use to pay for and she gets the satisfaction of dominating me while primarily living the life of a single career woman.
From Rose Marie:
My husband has brought your wonderful web site to my attention, and I thought you might be interested in our situation. I am a dominant woman and have been dominant in my thoughts and actions all of my life. When I was growing up in the Fresno area, My mom dominated my dad, although she was a church going woman who would have been uncomfortable with the imagery of female domination. Nevertheless, in our home my mom was dominant. My dad was a bus driver and he had to work double shifts, often 16 hours a day, in order to provide for us. When he came home from work, he was expected to clean the house, do the shopping and run all the errands. When he did something stupid like overcook dinner, my mother would ball him out, and on occasion even slap him in the face in front of us. We understood that he was totally secondary in our household, and that when there was an issue that required final resolution, we went to mom. When my parents reached their mid 40s, they were able to retire because my mother had saved all the extra money my father was making, and they moved to my grandparents' home town in Mexico. They live there very well today, and my dad still does the housework.
Happily, I was endowed with unusually good looks, and I am unusually tall. I am over 6'2" tall (my parents were tall, but I am taller than they are), and for a long time felt considerably embarrassed about my height and my long legs. When I was a freshman in a Catholic College in the Los Angeles area, a graduate student from UCLA approached me, and we dated several times. He told me that he wanted me to dominate him, and was very attracted to my height, my beauty and my legs. He also told me about his foot fetish, and introduced me to foot and leg worship. He would suckle on my toes as we talked about the natural superiority of women and the usefulness of men as slaves. During these sessions I began to become very turned on. Although my relationship with the UCLA student didn't work out, I realized that there were a lot of high quality submissive men out there, and that my height was an advantage in attracting submissive men. I began to wear high heels and stockings whenever possible, accentuating my height, which I would never have done before I met him. (I am now an attorney at a corporate law firm based in LA, and dress very conservatively, but often attract glances from submissive men with an interest in legs and stockings!)
I transferred to another university in southern California, and when I was a senior, I found a man named Joe, about 3 inches shorter than I, who was a manager in a large accounting firm in downtown Los Angeles. Joe made a good living, and was submissive and giving from the getgo. From day one I made it clear to him that he was not going to get sex from me, and that I expected him to jump through hoops every time he saw me.
When he picked me up for a date, he had to kneel, hand me a bouquet of flowers and say "Thank you, Rose Marie, for allowing me to date you." Before long, I had Joe cleaning my apartment, doing chores for me, doing my homework and handing me several hundred dollars each week. When we made love, Joe was expected to suck my toes, lick my armpits, tongue and kiss my anus and suck my clitoris. His erection was not permitted to leave his underpants, and a typical session of this kind of "necking" would terminate with a lengthy cunnilingus session where I would experience multiple orgasms and Joe would still be hard at the end.
After about a year of dating, I realized that Joe was masturbating in the bathroom after we made love, and we discussed the problem at some length. Joe agreed that the decision was mine, but asked shyly if he could start using my legs to masturbate on, as that was his ultimate dream. I agreed, conditional on his wearing a chastity belt so that I could control his orgasms (so that I controlled release and he could only masturbate on my legs and feet when I gave permission). We found a specialty shop in the Hollywood area that makes belts to order. It cost nearly $1,000 and fit Joe well. Joe still wears the same belt. We also started talking about marriage.
Joe, like most submissive men, was very eager for a long term relationship or marriage. However, I knew that monogamy wasn't for me, and that I wanted to have sex with several men. I also realized that by denying my husband sex, I exercised considerable power over him, and as Joe got used to being denied, he became ever more compliant. I wanted to have sex with men who might not be as successful financially as Joe, but were physically more athletic and taller than he was. In all honesty, I did this because I wanted to, not to strengthen our upcoming marriage. In fact, I wasn't sure that a relationship like ours was possible. Much to my surprise, Joe has proven to be incredibly loyal, faithful and obedient as a servant and a husband, and our marriage has outlasted many vanilla couples'.
When I discussed the issue of my cuckolding him, he was in a kneeling position. I had taken his chastity belt off, and his penis was as erect as a flagpole. I had been at a job interview, and my sweaty foot, encased in nylons, was covering Joe's nostrils, while my other foot toyed casually with his erect penis (but not too hard, as doing so would have easily resulted in an accident). Needless to say, there was little argument. He agreed to become a cuckolded husband whose wife regularly makes love to other men.
To this day, Joe's only sexual outlet is masturbation on my legs and feet, which he does about twice a week. He is often rewarded after doing a good job at home, licking my lover's cum from my pussy or performing lengthy cunnilingus or analingus. Joe has met all of my lovers, but I do not engage in scenes or involve Joe in my sex life, nor do I involve my lovers in my relationship with Joe. My lovers have all been submissive or passive, and I have never in my life had sexual intercourse where I was underneath a man.
We were married about 15 years ago, and in that time I have had sexual intercourse with Joe on rare occasions, maybe a total of 10 times or so. I have done so during dry periods, in between lovers. Mostly, he wears his chastity belt and continues to engage in extensive body and foot worship with my feet and legs as the only "vagina" he is permitted. As my law career progressed, we decided that Joe should give up his career and develop a tax practice out of the house, so that he could double as nanny to my children. We made this decision, once again, with Joe in a kneeling position, denied release for several weeks, and my sweaty, nylon clad footing resting on his nose. He agreed to change careers without argument, even though he had thought he might make partner in the then big-8 firm.
Joe is a perfect servant. He shaves my legs, does my pedicures, cleans the house, is a gourmet cook and is a wonderful nanny to my three children. I say my children because they are the offpring of my relationships with my lovers. I have had three daughters from my lovers (three separate fathers). Joe is little more than a nanny who guides the children but is recognized by no one, including the three girls, as having any final authority over them. Joe has taken all of this wonderfully, and he is a wonderful role model for my three girls. He obeys me completely, and, just like my mom, I will slap Joe if he commits any mistakes. Joe is in a state of total lust toward me, and thinks of nothing other than serving me and doing a good job with the girls and the housework. He is the perfect husband.
Although, I have not been shy about putting Joe in his place and even slapping him in front of the girls, the girls know nothing of our sex lives. Joe had taken my last name when we married, so as far as they know, we are all part of the "A--" family. All three girls went through a period where they started to realize that other families aren't like ours, and that in other families the man is treated as an equal or even as superior. I have discussed this with our oldest daughter, who is 15, who came home a few years ago asking why in other houses the mom, not the dad, cleans and cooks.
We are getting somewhat older now, and Joe is 40 and I am 38. Joe has mentioned to me on a few occasions that he is somewhat sad that he has never had a child of his own. We have had discussions like this while Joe is worshipping my feet and legs (the only time I allow him to speak his mind freely), and so I am sure it is a major concern for him as he usually thinks about little other than his worship (usually, the only thing he says when he speaks his mind freely is how much he loves and worships me).
I am rather conflicted about this. On the one hand, bearing Joe's child might cause his ego to expand unnecessarily and contradict my belief that he exists totally as my servant. It would inflate his slave/husband role. On the other, it is understandable that Joe's human need to have a child of his own would be important to him, and I don't know if I want to hurt him on that level. Still, why not hurt him on that level? I'm inclined to deny his request, and tell him that his fate is to be totally cuckolded and subservient to me. What do you think, Elise?
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