DOMMES and CUCKOLDRY 6
From Veronica K:
Dear Elise, I really wish I had found your site years ago, you have really great advice on cuckolding. I could have used that advice for due to my bad judgement, I am now separated from my husband.
A little bit about myself. I am 45 years old and had been married to a wonderful and very loving man, who is 11 years my junior, for a little over 12 years. I can't really say for certain when our "purely" vanilla relationship turned more into a D/s relationship but it was at least 5 or 6 years into our marriage. I had always been interested in Female Domination so it was very easy for me to take to the dominant role.
I came to a point in my domination of my husband that I really wanted to try cuckolding. To me, that was the ultimate expression of Female Supremacy and an expression of my own power in the relationship. To have lovers while he is completely denied was an incredibly seductive and exciting idea. After much discussion and testing the waters with my husband I decided it was time to try it. Ultimately, I know my husband submitted to it because of how much he loved and wanted to please me. I am not going to lie about my motives; I was being completely selfish. Above all else I wanted to feel the power of having a lover while completely denying my husband by keeping him locked up in his chastity belt. I just loved wearing the key to his chastity belt around my neck.
After dating and weeding out a few men I found the man to cuckold my husband with. He was more muscular, taller and had a much larger penis than my husband did. The first time that I actually took him home my husband was made to listen in from another room as we had incredibly wild sex. It is absolutely beyond words at how amazing it was. It was made even more amazing when I eventually made my husband sit and watch us. That first night that he watched us I taunted him by dangling his chastity belt key from my finger in front of him as my lover was fucking me doggy style. My husband's absolutely humiliated face was priceless. I never allowed him to look away even though many times I knew he wanted to. It was the most incredible power rush and I had the most intense orgasms that night and I've never forgotten it.
I absolutely enjoyed having my husband serve us before we fucked. I loved watching my husband's expression as my lover would sensually feed me food or lick something off of me that my husband had just served us. The pained, humiliated look on his face drove my sadist side wild with lust. I know it absolutely tormented my husband when my lover and I had all night fuck sessions. My husband was never allowed to sleep as long as my lover and I were having sex or he would be severely punished. My moaning would have kept my husband awake anyway. There were a few times when my lover and I wouldn't finish fucking until well after dawn.
At first, I saw him once or twice a week but eventually I saw him more often and I foolishly went out on more then just dates. We would have weekend long fuck sessions at our house. Our weekend fuck sessions were the most difficult for my husband because my lover would stay over at our house. My husband would serve us the whole weekend and had to endure us having sex morning, noon and night at any time anywhere and everywhere around the house. He was never allowed to leave the house or close a door so he couldn't hear us. When I say anytime and everywhere I mean anytime and everywhere; the kitchen counter, the bathroom, the laundry room, in the middle of dinner, even outside on the patio.
When my lover slept over my husband had to sleep on the floor beside us while my lover and I cuddled in bed. Nothing humiliated my husband more than when I would take him with a strap-on in front of my lover. I did this on more than a few occasions. Looking back I shouldn't have done that. It was difficult to think straight when I was filled with sadistic lust and I do regret putting my husband through that.
It took me a while but I did start to see that having my lover spend weekends at our house was getting too much for my husband to bear. I decided to spend weekends at my lover's apartment instead and leave my husband alone at home, locked away in chastity belt, to do chores. Though I still called him from the apartment to taunt and tease him mercilessly on the great sex that I was having. As time went on my lover became more then just someone to cuckold my husband with. My feelings for my lover started to grow or at least I thought they did.
My husband was not enjoying being cuckolded, I could definitely feel and see it and I should have stopped but I was having too much fun. Him not enjoying what I was doing to him drove me further, I loved the power I had to make him endure it. The idea that I could make him endure something that was so painful to him made me insanely hot. He never would outright say that he didn't enjoy it because he did not want to displease me, especially since he saw that I was having so much fun, and I was.
Eventually I started feeling like I wanted to pursue a full time relationship with my lover. This was after about a year and a half or so after we first started seeing each other. At this point I felt like I needed to make a choice. I had to decide whether I was going to pursue a relationship with my lover or end it all together. I didn't want to pursue a relationship with this man and keep my husband on the sidelines, even though I know my husband would have probably agreed to it. At the time he would have done anything to keep me in his life. But I wanted to be fair to him.
So I made a choice, the wrong one. I chose my lover. My husband was completely devastated, I know it tore him into a thousand pieces. He begged me to reconsider but I had made my choice. Though my intuition was telling me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life, I had to see it through.
I moved out of our house, left my husband all the furniture, and into my lover's apartment. It wouldn't take long for my intuition to be proven correct. For one, the sex wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. I realized that what really made sex with him exciting was the exhilaration of knowing that I was taking a lover while my husband was being denied. Once that element was gone, the sex didn't feel as spectacular as it did.
I also noticed traits in my lover that I had overlooked before. Lust and infatuation does that to you I guess. He was very selfish and arrogant and didn't seem to show much concern for me outside of sex. He was less tolerant of all my little quirks and we would argue a lot. I think that for him it was a big ego trip to "steal" a wife from a husband because after a while he seemed to loose interest in me. I think he realized that outside of sex we really didn't have much in common and in fact didn't really like me very much. Before long, we broke up and I moved out of his apartment and in with my sister. I couldn't move back into my husband's house, I hurt him too much and he wouldn't have been ready to deal with me. I was also too ashamed of myself to face him, and I still am.
It's been 11 months now since I separated from my husband and about 5 months since I moved out of my ex-lover's apartment. I miss my husband terribly, some days it feels unbearable. I want him back so badly. The time away from my husband has made me realize just how much he means to me, he means more to me than life itself. He truly was the love of my life. I don't think a lot of people know just how rare it is to find someone you truly connect with. I had it great with my husband, really great. He was my best friend and now I have lost him.
I want to have him in my life again and be the one to make him happy but I am too ashamed of myself. I don't feel like I deserve his friendship let alone his love. My sister sees him occasionally and says that he is still pretty hurt. When she tells him that I miss him and that I love him and that I wish we could work things out he usually just changes the subject. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I know I desperately want him back in my life, I need him back in my life again. I just don't know what my first step should be. It seems like such an impossible task to win him back. I don't know where to begin. What if he never wants anything to do with me or worse, that he hates me? I don't think I could handle it if he did.
I know this sounds absurd but even after all this, I don't regret cuckolding my husband. On the contrary it's just as Ms. Lily said, the sex was spectacular and there is no other Femdom activity that can match it's power dynamic. It truly is the best expression of Female Liberation and Female Supremacy. So I am not here to discourage women from trying cuckolding as long as they feel that they are ready for it and do it wisely. I don't see my cuckolding experience in itself as being negative. The results were but only because of my poor judgement. Most importantly, I should have taken my husband's feelings into account.
Would I do it again? Only if I knew for certain that my husband was 100% okay with it. This time though, I would know where to draw the line and make it so that it would be more enjoyable for him. If I thought for a minute that he wasn't enjoying it even just a little bit, I would stop without hesitation this time. I never again want to or will ever bring him any pain. But that's just me and our situation.
I am very happy that your site exists and is extremely informative about all aspects of Female Domination. You give great advice that is both wise and compassionate. Hopefully, women and men take your advice on cuckolding to heart. Thank you for all your work.
From Pam F:
Dear Elise, You are a wealth of information for women who are enjoying and starting female dominant marriages and relationships. It is a much needed service you provide and I am sure that our thanks is not nearly enough payment for the excellent service that you render. I would like to tell how my marriage evolved into a cuckold relationship. In the event that you post this account, allow me to tell your readers that I am Pam F. The story of how my marriage moved from vanilla to a female dominant is covered in the section "Improving Marriage through Female Domination.
After writing that original letter to you I did move toward more extreme orgasm denial for my husband involving the use prostate milking to decrease his number of orgasms while keeping his plumbing working properly. Depending on how I feel and how obedient my husband is, and his overall behavior I usually milk him every three to six weeks. Whether he orgasms or is milked, I always collect his discharge and feed it back to him. This is a firm rule, all sperm that comes from his penis goes directly into his mouth. I still keep him locked in his chastity belt most of the time.
The effects of orgasm denial on a submissive male are, at least in our case extremely positive. As you know from our correspondence the biggest issue that I face is using sound judgment in the leadership role I have taken on. As our past has proven, he will follow wherever I led. It is up to me to lead us to the places we need to go. I realize that it is important for me to make sure that there is enough love and nurturing for my husband to go along with the discipline and humiliation that I love to heap upon him.
One of the few negative side effects of denying my husband is the fact that I am also denying myself a live penis for intercourse. While some men may be able to satisfy their wives through intercourse while being denied themselves, I would guess that they are few. My husband does not have the stamina for the kind of prolonged penetration that I require. He willingly uses his tongue as often and for as long as I demand. We also have a large assortment of toys for my pleasure, but I still have found myself wanting a hard penis to play with. Usually when I release him from his belt he becomes so excited that he orgasms very quickly. He can get another erection but I do not like for him to have multiple orgasms as it can have negative effects on his attitude that can last for several days. He is more obedient and trainable when denied for over two weeks. It gets even better after four weeks. After six weeks he is likely to have wet dreams and/or nocturnal discharges, going beyond that point kind of defeats the purpose. Having gone as far as we could go with chastity and orgasm denial I felt I needed to take a different direction and different techniques if I wanted to drive my husband deeper into submission to me. There is a real need for him to continue to grow as my submissive, not only for my pleasure but for his overall well being and happiness as well.
For this reason I started to think about moving into a cuckold relationship with my husband. There is quite a bit on this subject posted on your web page, which had some influence on my thinking as well. When I broached the subject with my husband I used the tried and true method that has worked so well for me in the past. I sat my naked ass down on his mouth and had him service my anus while "we" discussed my need for another lover. He is always very agreeable when placed in this position and I use it frequently when we have disagreements or when I need to enforce my feminine will on him. When I use this method he communicates my taping his right hand for a "yes" and his left hand for a "no", as he cannot speak. I can easily make breathing very hard for him, and can cut off his oxygen supply completely by covering his mouth and nose with my ass, but I am careful not to deny him air for more that a moment or two. Tapping with both hands means he needs air.
In this case it took several sessions of ass smothering and much discussion for him to accept my need to be sexually free. In the end he not only agreed with my wishes but also begged me to cuckold him. He knows and has been told over and over that his penis is too small to please me even if male orgasm denial were not such a large part of our lifestyle; he can never please me with his cock. After I berate him for the inadequacies of his penis I praise him for his ability as my ass licker, always telling him how good he is with his tongue and how much I enjoy having it in my pussy and up my ass. He spends much of his time naked and on his knees with his face in my lap.
A couple of my lovers are men I know from the workplace, although most have come from an ad I placed in a local adult publication. When I meet a man through my ad I screen them through several emails and phone calls. Then we meet in a public place, usually with my husband present. I am honest with my husband and my lovers; they all know that my husband is my slave and that I derive much pleasure from being fucked while he is locked in his chastity belt. This is a tremendous turn on for me and one of the ultimate expressions in power exchange. The recent accounts from two different women in your stories section who have virgin husbands really caught my interest, but it is far to late for that in our case. While he is not virgin, my husband has not had any pussy for over a year now. I do not have plans to permanently cut him off, but right now I just don't need his penis for sex.
In the last year I have had several lovers and for the most part all my extramarital affairs have been pleasant. Our best experiences have been while on vacation. When we are away from home I can flaunt my sexual freedom openly while making my denied husband watch. This allows me to humiliate him publicly as well as the private humiliation of watching another man fuck me.
I love to go dancing with a man on each arm. Being away from home also allows me the chance to play the exhibitionist, wearing extremely short skirts and allowing my lover to grope my body not only before my husband, but everyone around the dance floor as well. I also love to introduce our waitress to my husband and my lover. I tell her to keep an eye on my husband and not let him get into trouble while I dance with my lover. I tell her that he is not allowed to dance with other women.
The best situation I have found yet is a cuckold cruise. We reserved two cabins, but most of the time we used only one. My husband served as slave to both my lover and myself. I allow him to sleep on the floor by our bed. He was allowed to listen and watch as I was fucked over and over. He cleaned my body and licked my pussy and asshole after watching me get screwed. I also let my lover watch me piss in my husband's mouth. This was particularly humiliating for my husband. Let me add here that the man I took on the cruise is a regular boyfriend of mine. He has spent the night with me at home before and the three of us get along well together. However the close quarters afforded by the cruise ship along with the complete freedom to publicly humiliate my husband and expose our lifestyle to other men and women made the week more intense for me. I am already planning another cruise for one of the coming year's vacations.
One of the first things I do when I entertain a lover at home is to put music on and slow dance with him. My naked husband kneels behind me and puts his head under my skirt. I will have already removed my panties and while I dance with my lover my husband kisses and licks my ass. He pushes his tongue deep into my anus and pumps it in and out as I dance. By the time we retire to the bedroom my pussy is dripping.
For the record, I would like to say that my husband is happy living under my rule and would not complain if I never allowed him to fuck me again. He understands and admits that it is the right of a dominant woman to be pleased sexually, however many men it may take to accomplish the task. He would also be the first to tell you that it is his destiny to serve my needs and give in to my desires. He is accustomed to providing oral sex and for all intents and purposes his sex organ is his tongue. His knees actually shake when I come home with my lover and he is forced to greet me naked, admitting that he is unable to sexually please me.
From Steve W:
Dear Ms. Sutton, I don't even know where to begin. You see my story is a FemDom experience but I am neither the dominant nor the submissive. I am the third party in what I can now to identify as cuckolding. A few months ago I started doing some research to learn about D/s and Female Dominance when I started questioning my relationship with a married woman. I had strong doubts, yet I continued to play a role in what I feel is an abusive situation.
I learned about cuckolding through some other sites, though I knew exactly what we were doing, I just didn't know what you call it. Eventually I discovered your site. Perhaps the greatest compliment I can pay you is I've learned more from what I have read here than all other sites combined. Your responses to stories and questions are very responsible, soundly reasoned, and based on high moral standards. Not at all to imply I share a lot of your beliefs but I now have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for those who pursue this lifestyle for the right reasons. I'm sure they have a genuine connection and love I've certainly never found in a relationship. My problem is I've only been exposed to a woman who uses Female Domination as a means to maintain and abuse power.
I feel terrible for having played a role in the cuckoldjng of another man. I just wanted you to know your answers on your Q&A for cuckolding has made me finally decide to do what I should have done long ago and helped to solve my moral dilemma. Cuckolding does not strengthen their marriage. The intent and motive is purely malevolent. There is no discussion between this wife and her husband. Still he has always known about me and his wife and for a long time I felt that made it OK, even though how we have done this pretty much violates all your advice on the right way to go about cuckolding. The irony is this woman has power and even after I end our relationship, she no doubt will just find someone else. She is my long time boss and a very highly thought of woman in our workplace.
Here is our story. I'm a 29 yr. old male. My boss is a 45 yr. old married woman who hired me straight out of college and took me under her wing. She has always been a friend, mentor, and confidant. I am personally indebted to her. I have always had a tremendous amount of respect for her and held her in very high regard. She is an exceptionally attractive and intelligent woman. She'd been my wildest fantasy for years though our relationship had always been professional.
Last July we went on business trip trying to woo a major client. She can be very demanding and she'd been pushing me real hard and I kind of snapped at her. She was furious and ignored me as much as she could until the night before we were to fly home. She called me to her hotel room for what I was certain would be a heart to heart but instead she undressed ever so comfortably in front of me as I watched in complete shock. She basically told me that there was a lot of negative energy built up between us and we needed to work that out and turn it into something positive. She stood before me in just panties and pumps with her hands on her hips and told me to get undressed, implying no wasn't an option. I didn't have to be told twice. She grabbed me by the balls and told me it was time for an attitude adjustment. It was the most exciting night of my life.
We began meeting secretly for sex all the time. But she was always more concerned with hiding it from co-workers than her husband. Before all this happened, I had met her husband on several occasions over the years at Christmas parties etc. and always considered him a very lucky guy. I knew it was wrong to have sex with a married woman but it was so exciting. I'd never been with a married woman. Actually, I had also never been with an older woman or someone as sexually experienced as her. I got attached to her pretty quick. It was and still is the best sex of my life. But I started feeling guilty enough to mention it after a few weeks. She snickered and said "how do you think I'm able to stay out all night? I tell my husband everything and in great detail."
She seemed very proud of it. I couldn't possibly believe something like that so she called him while we were lying in bed and handed me the phone. I was stunned. He told me something to the effect that he can't please her sexually and she needs a younger man. That was good enough for my conscience at the time.
She'd often spend the entire night with me at my place. That made it so easy. I figured that since her husband was OK with it, than it must be OK. I was only thinking about myself and through a certain part of my anatomy. We did that for 5 months. She naturally assumed the lead but the sex has always been mutually rewarding. There were kinky things. She occasionally spanked me over her knee but it was playful and silly. She came out of the bathroom one time wearing a strap-on trying to catch me off guard and she chased me around as we both giggled, but I never permitted her to penetrate me with it. She's always had the leather and sexy heels and boots. I'm as guilty as any man when it comes to that and she'd been torturing me for years at the office wearing them so I've never complained. Call me naďve.
I was completely ignorant of anything associated with D/s or Female Dominance. I had no idea of the true nature of their marriage. Occasionally, I'd hear her belittle him or say something that struck me as peculiar on the phone but nothing that could have prepared me for when she invited me to her house with her husband home for the first time. I didn't know he would be there. It was quite an eye opening experience.
She opened the door wearing all black leather with the pants, stiletto heeled thigh-highs, lace up
halter-top, full-length gloves, collar, hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was one of the most incredible sights I've ever seen. He, on the other hand, was the most pathetic sight I'd ever seen. He was wearing panties and bra, a wig, and had high-heels locked to his feet. I didn't look close enough to notice the cock cage. I was very uncomfortable. She hugged and kissed me and encouraged me to feel her ass with him watching. He's a big guy. I was wondering how he'd take it. I was kind of looking over my shoulder but it didn't take her long to make me forget about him. She ordered him to bed and it was like 7:00.
We started having sex with him in the next room more often than not. She told me that first night he enjoys it. She talked a little about D/s and their lifestyle. I was in disbelief. I asked her how often they have sex. She told me never. In fact she gave me a detailed account that it had been more than 2 years since she had sex with her husband. She told me about his 24/7 chastity and strictly monitored masturbation program. They have not had sex since the day their daughter left for her freshmen year of college. I mean nothing, no oral sex, only the occasional strap-on, if that counts. She says they never will again. That's an awful lot to handle all at once for the uninitiated. My initial impression was how could he be so stupid? He has the hottest wife in the world. I didn't understand it. I didn't want to understand it. I thought OK, you enjoy me having sex with your gorgeous wife while you're lying in bed in the next room, so I'll be happy to give you what you deserve. So that's what I did. Still, I could not understand him. I mean two years in the same house with such a sexy wife and no sex would be worse than death, but that's just my opinion.
It got really bizarre at least to a guy like me who has always lived a vanilla lifestyle. She'd call him out and make him watch her perform oral sex on me and tell him that's how she treats a real man. It tortured him. One time he even had tears in his eyes. So I started doing some reading on D/s on my own time without telling her, looking for some answers. I thought, maybe he really does want it and somehow enjoys it but I just can't fathom that. In my opinion, there is no love and no respect. He is nothing but dirt to her. She boasts every financial resource he ever had is in her name. She once very seriously asked what it would take to get me to perform anal sex on him. She meant it. I refused, of course.
Their relationship bothered me so much that I called and tried to talk to him when I knew she wasn't home. He hung up on me and told her about my call. She called me a whore and told me to mind my business or she'll find someone else. Some might say his actions are proof it's his choice. I don't believe that. I feel he's broken and abused.
Aside from my parents there is no one I've thought higher of for many years than this woman. But the way she treats her husband has caused me to lose respect for her. Anytime I try to bring it up, she tells me to mind my own business and she asks "what makes me so high and mighty all of the sudden?" It creates a lot of tension between us but I must confess that tension only makes the sex between us better. She's right, I am a whore. I've kept going back even after having these feelings.
She'd tell you she has more than a decade experience in the lifestyle but I'm convinced she doesn't know much more about it than I do. I still respect her professionally and I at least give her credit for hiding this from their daughter. But I finally have the courage to do the right thing and end this relationship. A strong part of me hopes you'll post this on your site so I can provide a link so she'll read it.
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